They could be the Ones

A few years ago, I finally gave into to my adamant refusal to date online. Just like in the bars, the pick-up lines are often bad. I once opened an email and the only word inside was "yummy!" That's the online equivalent of the construction site wolf whistle. Or the under the breath, "god bless you," when passed on the street. Thy might have a keyboard and access to dictionary.com, but it does not enhance their vocabulary.

But occasionally there are a few out there that give really great email. I was particularly flattered when I opened my inbox to find this:

Subject: Orthogonal Thinking.

We very much like your sensibilities, and our somewhat intentionally pungent profile is part serious, part play and part gating factor to weed out the trivial. We're looking for much beyond the initial intersection, and if dating a couple is not beyond your potential mindmap, there could be fertile ground for frisson!

Provocative ping, considered delivered--no slight intended if not your cup of tea (and why should it be? nothing in your profile indicates as much, but we like the look of you...) your thoughts welcome if you wish to know what more looks like and compliments regardless...

- C & L

C&L's screename is Enantiomers and their tagline, "Knot for everyone...." They are a 44 year old Couple (man and woman), New York, New York. Now, it's true there was nothing in my profile indicating I'm interested in bi or swinger relations and their smart email was not going to change my mind, but they had left me intrigued. I quickly clicked on the link to their profile. I had to know more.

"why you should get to know me"
Hot, fit, sane and dominant couple seeks a submissive. You've imagined it, played with the idea so many times but how to explore tendencies have eluded you. If you're a present, wholesome, fit female with brains and energy to spare, provide some narrative for dialogue and we can provide a hot safe path for you to walk.
"more about what I'm looking for"
Please be D/D free as we are. Serious replies only. Spelling skills and long hair a plus. Pictures available after female-to-female voice verification.
Someone who finds delight in the "submissive alpha female" paradox--who identifies with this notion, and would find a welcome place as a secondary friend, lover & consort within a dominant in the bedroom incredibly gracious and giving outside it couple.

Simply put, a wonderful adventure awaits the right woman.

I particularly like that "spelling skills" were "a plus." I envisioned long nights of Scrabble as they took turns braiding my hair, all the while we would have enthralling conversation about socio-economic affairs; it did not sound so bad. But then I realized at some point they'd expect my I'd follow (in cuffs and blindfold) to the bedroom. And so, as I had with "yummy," I left enantiomers out in cyberspace and never replyed to their email.