Magic Tricks

I thought I got dumped this weekend. Ok, dumped isn't at all the right word for it, we'd only gone on four dates. Four hot dates, in two weeks. Then he disappeared. While I hadn't yet checked my magic eight ball, all signs had pointed to 'he liked me,' until he made a classic Houdini exit. He left my house on a Friday morning and come Monday afternoon, I still hadn't yet heard from him. He gave me a hot passionate kiss before leaving and said, "see you soon." Soon? Soon does not a date make. When there is no discussion of the next meeting or at the very least your mutual agendas, it is a sure sign that he's got other things cooking and you may be simmering on back burner until he's bored or left with an unexpected free evening or perhaps you are forgotten altogether until some random day far in the future when his number has long been erased from your phone.

These days we call, email, text, im, chat, facebook, twitter, not to mention countless other ways of keeping in touch I haven't even begun to involve myself. So, when you don't hear from someone right away, you are left to think they are not interested or maybe they lost their cell and their internet service and they are vacationing in the deepest jungle all at the same time. Of course, if you don't hear from someone in three days that's like Marianne Dashwood not hearing from Wiloughby the entire time she's in London, you can be sure he's slutting around.

In this age of uber communication, does the over-availability to reach friends, acquaintances, enemies and frienmies leave us concentrating too much on the subtext? Especially since most of our exchange is done in 160 characters or less. We can find ourselves over analyzing the placement of a comma, a capital letter, the use of an article. And gawd-forbid there's an emoticon or multi exclamation marks; that will send us forwarding the message to all our contacts for immediate examination. Even Jane Austen had them twisted up over the letters they received or didn't receive, the gossip they heard and who danced or spoke with whom at the ball, but it somehow seemed more sophisticated. 

The fact that we have such extensive and immediate access to communication puts a speed and urgency on friendship and dating. We have come to expect contact will ping-pong back and forth, ever questioning when someone drops the ball. And yet, I really like that I can keep in touch with someone far away or just around the corner with a quick bleep and a blip. I enjoy the closeness that it offers and the random invitation into someone's day. I just don't like waiting for a message to appear in my inbox and then wondering about what it may or may not mean.  The unblinking light on my blackberry is surely a frowning emoticon.  In fact, maybe the next redesign of cell phones should have a light in the shape of a smiley, glowing with a yes, your friends heart you and the date you had still has you on his mind.

We have so much of an ability to contact people and so when we don't hear from someone it begs the question immediately. What are they doing? Or more to the point, who else are they doing?  Do they like me? Are they just playing it cool? The four-day rule book and tips from the movie Swingers are no longer up to date.  Only, I don't know the new rules.  But I have obsessively checked my cell to make sure it is still on and there are currently no messages. 

Monday afternoon rolls around and I receive an email from Harry. It shows interest, but passively. There's a little blahblahblah about his day and the weekend and then an obtuse line about whether I'd be into meeting up with him this week. So, he's not an escape artist yet, but he's still not showing any of his cards - no plan suggested, no date requested and I'm beginning to wonder if the magic we had has blown out. I wait a few minutes before I email back and attempt to pin him down.

A consult of the daily horoscope: proceed with caution.  At least I can still rely on astrology.